| Strikes the bell for 5 o’clock, Uncle Arthur closes shop
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| Screws the tops on all the bottles, turns the lights out, locks it up
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| Climbs across his bike and he’s away
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| Cycles past the gasworks, past the river, down the high street
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| Back to mother, it’s another empty day
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| Uncle Arthur likes his mommy
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| Uncle Arthur still reads comics
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| Uncle Arthur follows Batman
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| Round and round the rumours fly, how he ran away from Mum
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| On his 32nd birthday, told her that he’d found a chum Mother cried and raved
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| and yelled and fussed
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| Arthur left her no illusion, brought the girl round, save confusion
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| Sally was the real thing, not just lust
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| Uncle Arthur vanished quickly
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| Uncle Arthur and his new bride
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| Uncle Arthur follows Sally
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| Round and round goes Arthur’s head, hasn’t eaten well for days
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| Little Sally may be lovely, but cooking leaves her in a maze
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| Uncle Arthur packed his bags and fled
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| Back to mother, all’s forgiven, serving in the family shop
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| He gets his pocket money, he’s well fed
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| Uncle Arthur past the gasworks
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| Uncle Arthur past the river
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| Uncle Arthur down the high street
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| Uncle Arthur follows mother |