| I make a date for golf and you can bet your life it rains
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| I try to give a party and the guy upstairs complains
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| I guess I’ll go through life just catching cold and missing trains
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| Everything happens to me
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| I never miss a thing
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| I’ve had the measles and the mumps
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| And every time I play an ace
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| My partner always trumps
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| I guess I’m just a fool who never looks before he jumps
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| Everything happens to me
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| At first I thought that you could break this jinx for me
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| That love would turn the trick to end despair
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| But now I just can’t fool this head that thinks for me
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| I’ve mortgaged all my castles in the air
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| I’ve telegraphed and phoned
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| I send an airmail special too
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| Your answer was goodbye
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| And there was even postage due
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| I fell in love just once
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| And then it had to be with you
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| Everything happens to me
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| Everything happens to me |