| Now without any further ado, I’m gonna do a little soft shoe
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| And uh, a little boogaloo
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| For you
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| If you want me to, I will
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| There was this kid named Syd when he was born
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| Maybe the doctor hit him a little too hard
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| He just seemed to have gotten off to a bad start
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| Never relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed
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| Big brothers and big sisters gave him lots of attention
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| But Syd was a hyperactive kid
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| He just never seemed able to sit still
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| Never relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed
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| Never relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed
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| Unlike the other kids on his block
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| Syd never learned how to walk
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| He just ran around acting nervous
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| Never relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed
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| He sat in school in detention
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| Drawing funny pictures on the wall
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| Not a moment of peace did Syd ever find
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| Never relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed
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| Never relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed
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| Now when Syd discovered masturbation
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| He just couldn’t keep a good thing down
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| But it didn’t help much his condition
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| Never relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed
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| Syd signed up for the army
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| Cause he got tired of working in the pottery
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| And they sent him over to a foreign country
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| Never relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed
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| He met this girl in east Germany
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| And she invited him up to her room for some tea
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| Then she pulled out a gun and took his money
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| Never relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed
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| She shot Syd through the head
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| And Syd died and went to Hell
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| And he burned and he burned and he yelled
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| «I've never been relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed»
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| Now, the devil said this ain’t fair
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| Cause people who come here have had their share of comfort
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| So he sat Syd in a reclining chair
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| But it was an electric chair
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| Never relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed |