| Hello, I’m Dr. Greenthumb
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| Have you ever had the problem of running out of weed
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| and just can’t find some anywhere?
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| Well try my Dr. Greenthumb grow tips
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| I’ll show you how to grow inside and out
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| From seed to clone, and the best homegrown
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| And if you’re afraid of those pesky pork choppers in the sky
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| No worries, we’ll fix them too
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| with one of our Dr. Greenthumb 'Sizzlean'screens
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| to block the nosy pig’s vision
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| Don’t believe me?
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| Just ask one of my many satisfied clients here Jed Sanders
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| how well it works
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| Hyuh, hyuh, hello mah name is Jaid
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| And ahm a farmer and I’ve been growin
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| mary-jah-wana fer about twenty years and uhh
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| uhh, with Dr. Greenthumb’s 'Sizzlean'screen
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| I don’t hafta point my shotgun
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| at them pesky porkers no more
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| Thanks Dr. Green, you’re tha shit
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| Yes, Dr. Greenthumb’s got it all, I guarantee it Try my book and you’ll have the chronic in no time
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| G *inhale* R *inhale* O-W
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| Hello Dr. Greenthumb, paging Dr. Greenthumb!
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| Hello my name is Dr. Greenthumb
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| I’d like to tell you just where I’m from
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| In the hills where the trees grow wild with weed fields
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| The fucking pigs with shields holding the blue steels
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| Greenhouse effect with the weed connect
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| (Doctor) DEA can’t keep Greenthumb in check (Doctor!)
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| HPS, God Bless the whole crop
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| Please God, don’t let me see no cops
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| Trunkload, ready to hit the highway
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| Don’t let the eye in the sky fly my way
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| or we gonna have big trouble, that’s no shit
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| Can’t be growin without no permit
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| but fuck that, I study the 215 trip
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| That way when they come they can suck my dick
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| Weed can’t grow without attention
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| Hello my name is Dr. Greenthumb
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| Hello my name is Dr. Greenthumb
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| Hello my name is Dr. Greenthumb!
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| I’d like to tell you just where I’m from
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| Hello my name is Dr. Greenthumb
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| Hello my name is Dr. Greenthumb
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| Hello my name is Dr. Greenthumb!
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| I’d like to tell you just where I’m from
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| Aiyyo Dr. Greenthumb, come on back one time!
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| People can’t live without the herb man
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| If not they’d be drinkin and drivin and swervin
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| but thanks to Dr. Greenthumb weed grow
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| in the backyard or inside with hydro
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| To the cush plant brushin a tangerine dream
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| Tasty, blowin a fuckin smokescreen
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| Cycles of weed are constantly grown
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| Somebody give me the razor to cut groves
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| I’d like to stop, but it feels so good
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| Horny plants stinkin up my whole neighborhood
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| Sticky angel, I wanna leave it alone
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| but never ever ever gotta worry from my home
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| What that funny sound knockin at the door (Open up it’s the DEA!)
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| Sorry Greenthumb can’t talk no more
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| Please don’t follow me into the sun
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| Hello my name is Dr. Greenthumb
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| Out from the lab, no need for rehab
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| If I can’t drive then call me a cab (ese!)
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| In my closet the weed is dried out
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| Like Eiht said, ain’t no place to hide out
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| I don’t wanna buy no weed from no cop
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| Get knocked up and they close up my shop
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| That’s why I buy no weed from no one
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| That’s why they call me Dr. Greenthumb
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| The scientifical, mystical one
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| Growin my crops with the rays of the sun
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| Come one come all and see how it’s done
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| If you see the pigs there’s no need to run
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| Cause some of these pigs are down with Greenthumb
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| But you never know what be the outcome
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| You see the photo in the album
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| The weed is growin like my erection
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| Look I never told you where I was from
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| Some call me Real, but I’m Dr. Greenthumb
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| Dr. Greenthumb
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| Doctor, your Bulova plant needs special tending to Doctor, we need more oxygen we need more CO2
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| Doctor, Dr. Greenthumb you’re needed
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| Doctor, dahyahahahhh… Doctor |