| Yo. |
| I don’t know what was on y’all niggas' birds
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| To go up to the boat — and start robbin' old folks
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| Now see you done messed with the wrong old lady
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| You done went wild; |
| yo, check it…
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| There was a Hardy Boy mystery I tried to solve again
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| Dude that broke in my crib — it wasn’t involvin him
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| Four in the mornin, my phone ringin
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| I’m thinkin, «Who da fuck is this,» on the other line screamin
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| Told em, «Geek down,» but they was breathin hard
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| It was my grandmother tellin me that she had been robbed
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| I told her hold (hold) tight (tight), I’d be right over
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| Freezin but this situation made the night colder
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| Knew this was the night (that what?) that she played poker
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| With some friends in a club at the boat gettin bub'
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| Said she seen these thugs on the boat for a while (uhh)
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| Not gamblin but every now and then they’d smile
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| Then BLAOW! |
| They up mags
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| And told everybody, «Put your shit in the bag»
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| Made people strip naked, quicker than a Luke record (what?)
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| Had the place took in a minute and some seconds
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| Asked her how many of it was em? |
| (How many of it was em?)
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| Said she couldn’t remember
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| She was spooked and buzzin, couldn’t describe em
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| Cause it happened too fast (what?) said they looked like me
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| With they pants hangin off they ass
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| Got her some water — and begin to think
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| How these niggas take her wig, her bracelet and her mink?
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| Somebody round the crib know the deal (uhh)
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| Whoever did it better have Blue Shield for real
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| 'Cause yo, it’s the big payback.
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| Later that day I went to the 'shop, to see what was up
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| Them niggas probably knew somethin plus I needed a cut
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| Walked in they was playin Jigga (jihh-gga.)
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| Discussin how Da Brat titties done got bigger
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| These niggas next to me, was talkin bout the heist
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| Whoever did it even got Jordan for his ice
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| Said that it was done so precise the cops ain’t know nut-nin
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| Had to use all my might not to ask no questions
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| Put down the magazine, went to the pop machine
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| Noticin these cats, had the Bling Bling
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| They wouldn’t be talkin if they did it; |
| it could be they team
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| A week ago neither one of these niggas had a ring
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| This hype came in, sellin CD’s; |
| said the BD’s
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| Was braggin bout robbery they had done
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| By now, I’m thinkin bout my gun if I
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| See gramps bracelet
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| I’mma play racist (and what?) and make niggas run
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| It’s the big payback.
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| My imagination roamed as I got in the chair
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| Thinkin — when shit went
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| Down, I wish I was there
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| Fuckin with fam' - who you are, I don’t care
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| Have your guys pourin liquor witch’ya name in they swear
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| These chicks claim they was there, knew the niggas who done it
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| Said it was Smoke and them from the Wild 100's
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| Eight million stories got me runnin in place, it’s gettin tricky
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| (Like who?) Like dude, that do drum’n’bass
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| There was a air in the place, that made me suspicious
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| Normally, they’d be
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| Talkin like bitches
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| My barber cut me with a quickness (what?)
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| Asked him where he got the new bracelet
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| He said it was his sister’s — I knew then
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| What made it official, he gave me my change
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| The money clip had gramp’s
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| Initials (c'mon)
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| As I, whooped his ass up, six niggas masked up
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| Pulled up in a Cadillac truck
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| …we have an arson, three-alarm fire, murder in a possible homicide
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| The building is entitled «The Ultimate Barbershop»
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| There are six unidentified bodies in the building
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| They are all presumed dead
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| I repeat they are all presumed dead
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| However there are no suspects
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| I repeat, the subjects are at large
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| We might need some backup.
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| Inform O’Malley that we need backup, over…
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| The skit definitely needs more siren added to it
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| Plus a new writer for the script, thank you…
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| Someone get Prince Paul on the phone please…
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| Thank you… |