| Two sins are better than one
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| Two sins are better when you want to have fun
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| So when the preacher Theodore
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| Gets bored and wants to score
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| He calls a man-whore Jones
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| A preacher made confession today
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| Two hundred dollars was all that he paid
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| And he said don’t forget to bring
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| That methamphetamine
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| I want to get high when I get laid
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| The preacher and the man-whore
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| A methamphetamine perfume
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| The preacher talks he’s afraid of anybody gay
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| But he loves a man-whore in a motel room
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| Jones went to the T.V. station
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| When he discovered
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| The preacher’s occupation
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| He said I’m paid to be a slave
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| But I just can’t behave because
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| The preacher wants to take my rights away
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| The preacher and the man-whore
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| The wife and kids are safe at home
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| And when he goes on down to Denver
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| To mix business with pleasure
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| The preacher, he don’t sleep alone
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| Ted Haggard bragged about
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| Connections in the white house
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| And promised Bush he could count
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| On the voes of a million evangelicals |