| Some say that love’s a little boy
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| And some say he’s a bird
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| Some say he makes the world go around
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| And some say that’s absurd
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| But when I asked the man next door
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| Who looked as if he knew
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| His wife got very cross indeed
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| And said it wouldn’t do
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| Does it look like a pair of pyjamas
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| Or the ham in a temperance hotel?
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| Does its odour remind one of llamas
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| Or has it a comforting smell?
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| Is it prickly to touch as a hedge is
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| Or soft as eiderdown fluff?
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| Is it sharp or quite smooth at the edges?
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| O tell me the truth about love
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| Our history books refer to it
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| In cryptic little notes
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| It’s quite a common topic on
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| The Transatlantic boats;
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| I’ve found the subject mentioned in
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| Accounts of suicide
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| And even seen it scribbled on
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| The backs of railway guides
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| Does it howl like a hungry Alsatian
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| Or boom like a military band?
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| Could one give a first-class imitation
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| On a saw or a Steinway Grand?
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| Is its singing at parties a riot?
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| Does it only like Classical stuff?
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| Will it stop when one wants to be quiet?
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| O tell me the truth about love
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| I looked inside the summer-house;
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| It wasn’t over there;
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| I tried the Thames at Maidenhead
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| And Brighton’s bracing air
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| I don’t know what the blackbird sang
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| Or what the roses said;
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| But it wasn’t in the chicken-run
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| Or underneath the bed
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| Does it pull extraordinary faces?
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| Is it usually sick on a swing?
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| Does it spend all its time at the races
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| Or fiddling with pieces of string?
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| Has it views of its own about money?
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| Does it think Patriotism enough?
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| Are its stories vulgar or funny?
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| O tell me the truth about love
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| Your feelings, when you meet it
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| I’m told, you can’t forget
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| I’ve sought it since I was a child
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| And I ain’t found it yet
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| I’m getting on
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| What kind of creature it can be
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| When it bothers people so
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| When it comes, will it come without warning
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| Just as I’m picking my nose?
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| Will it knock on my door in the morning
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| Or step in the bus on my toes?
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| Will it come like a change in the weather?
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| Will its greeting be courteous or bluff?
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| Will it alter my life altogether?
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| O tell me the truth about love
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| Please, come on and tell me the truth about love
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| Come on and tell me the truth about love |