| Bartender’s sittin' them shots on the bar
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| Those last two Jagar bombs hit me hard
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| My best friend left and took the keys to my car
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| Who’s gonna take me home?
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| That dad gum Jimmy he took me out back
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| Pulled a Marlboro cigarette out of his cap
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| Now I remember why I quit all that
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| Who’s gonna take me home?
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| Well, I can’t drive, I can’t walk
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| And I’m a little too high to crawl
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| I’ll hold up this wall
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| Till I come down or the room stops spinnin'
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| Gonna stand right here and chill out for a minute
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| Standin' in the men’s room waitin' on a stall
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| Lean my head up against the cool concrete wall
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| Hey there’s a few numbers I guess I could call
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| Who’s gonna take me home?
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| (Where's my cell phone?)
|
| Well, I can’t drive, I can’t walk
|
| And I’m a little too high to crawl
|
| I’ll hold up this wall
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| Till I come down or the room stops spinnin'
|
| Gonna stand right here, Oh wait just a minute!
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| Twelve little hotties crammed in a back booth
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| With a bachelorette all drinkin' Vermouth
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| Lucky for there’s just enough room
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| Well hello girls, next round’s on me
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| Toast a few drinks to the bide to be
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| Close the town down and then we’ll see
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| Who’s gonna take me home?
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| Yeah, who’s gonna take me home?
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| Yeah, who’s gonna take me home?
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| I can’t drive
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| I can’t walk
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| Too high
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| To crawl |