| I called him for days, he didn’t answer the phone
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| I drove by his house, I knew he was home
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| A week’s worth of papers and mail in the box
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| I thought he was dead, I picked the lock
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| I found him in tears in the dark on his knees
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| With a hole in his chest where his heart used to be And he said…
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| Don’t call the doctor, don’t call the nurse
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| Call for the lady with the alligator purse
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| She knows the spell to lift this curse
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| Go find the lady with the alligator purse
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| In an old stone house off 21st
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| I found the lady with the alligator purse
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| She answered the door, said I know who you are
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| She lit a candle, consulted the stars
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| When I saw her closing that reptile’s hide
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| I asked her point-blank, is my friend going to die
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| And she said…
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| I’m not a doctor, I’m not a nurse
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| I’m just the lady with the alligator purse
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| Hope for the best, prepare for the worst
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| So said the lady with the alligator purse
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| She said, look at what happened to Cleopatra
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| When she didn’t take my advice
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| And Romeo, Juliet, they didn’t get it Too bad, those kids were so nice
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| By the time we got back to my pitiful pal
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| There was no sign of life till he saw the alligator
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| Purse on her arm, the gleam in her eyes
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| She opened the bag, there was nothing inside
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| She said, there’s no secret, it’s love that I use
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| I just carry this bag because it matches my shoes
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| And she said…
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| Don’t call the doctor, don’t call the nurse
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| Don’t call the lady with the alligator purse
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| Love is the magic of the universe
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| Take it from the lady with the alligator purse
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| Love is the magic of the universe
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| Take it from the lady with the alligator purse
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| The lady with the alligator purse |