| If a girl isn’t pretty, like a Miss Atlantic City
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| All she gets in life is pity, and a pat
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| Is a nose with deviation, such a crime against the nation
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| Should I throw her into jail or drown the cat
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| She must shine in every detail, like some ring you’re buying retail
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| Be a standard size that fits a standard dress
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| When a girl’s incidentals are no bigger than two lentils
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| Well to me that doesn’t spell success
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| If a girl isn’t pretty, like a Miss Atlantic City
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| She should dump the stage and try another route
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| Any guy who pays a quarter for a seat
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| Just feels he outta see a figure that his wife can’t substitute
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| Frumpy faces that could cause ya to have temporary nausea
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| Do I have to hear a lecture such as that?
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| Kindly name a star who hasn’t won a contest or a pageant
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| If she hasn’t, she just never gets to bat
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| If a girl isn’t pretty
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| If a girl isn’t pretty
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| She should get a job
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| Get a weekly pay
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| 'Cause if a girl isn’t pretty, like a Miss Atlantic City
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| She’s a real Miss Nobody USA
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| Thank you
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| Thank you
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| You all don’t know really what that song is about, you’re all
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| I’m sure you’re all very good looking out there |