| I used to like the mornings
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| I’d survived another night
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| I’d walk to breakfast through the garden
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| See the flowers stretching in the sunlight
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| Now I wake up in the mornings
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| And all the kindness is drained out of me
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| I spend hours just wincing
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| And trying to regain some sense of peace
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| If only I could sustain my anger
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| Feel it grow stronger and stronger
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| It sharpens to a point and sheds my skin
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| Shakes off the weight of my sins
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| And takes me to heaven
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| I stay up late every night
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| Out of some general protest
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| But with no one to tell you to come to bed
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| It’s not really a contest
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| Maybe you think
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| I’ll learn from my mistake
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| But not this time
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| It’s just gonna break me
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| If only I could sustain my anger
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| Feel it grow stronger and stronger
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| It sharpens to a point and sheds my skin
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| Shakes off the weight of my sins
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| And takes me to heaven
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| And if I’ve lost you for good
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| Could it have been any other way?
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| Was the water filling up for years
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| Or did I wreck it all in a day?
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| I’m going to bed now
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| I’ve sunk into my sorrows
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| And it’ll take three hundred million dollars
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| To get me up tomorrow
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| I won’t go down with this shit
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| I will put my hands up and surrender
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| There will be no more flags above my door
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| I have lost, and always will be
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| It was an expensive mistake
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| It was an expensive mistake
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| My horse broke his back to get me here
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| I have his blood on my hands for no reason
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| But what was I supposed to do?
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| How was I supposed to know how to use a tube amp?
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| How was I supposed to know how to drive a van?
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| How was I supposed to know how to ride a bike without hurting myself?
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| How was I supposed to know how to make dinner for myself?
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| How was I supposed to know how to hold a job?
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| How was I supposed to remember to grab my backpack after I set it down to play
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| basketball?
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| How was I supposed to know how to not get drunk every
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| Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and — why not — Sunday?
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| How was I supposed to know how steer this ship?
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| How the hell was I supposed to steer this ship?
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| It was an expensive mistake
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| You can’t say you’re sorry and it’s over
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| I was given a body that is falling apart
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| My house is falling apart
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| And I was given a mind that can’t control itself
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| And I was given a ship that can’t steer itself
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| And what about the pain I’m in right now?
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| And what about a vacation?
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| And what about a vacation to feel good?
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| My horse broke his back and left me here
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| How was I supposed to know?
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| And God won’t forgive me
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| And you won’t forgive me
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| Not unless I open up my heart
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| And how am I supposed to do that
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| When I go to this same room every night
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| And sleep in the same bed every night?
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| The same fucking bed
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| Red comforter with the white stripes
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| And the yellow ceiling light makes me feel like I’m dying
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| This sea is too familiar
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| How many nights have I drowned here?
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| How many times have I drowned?
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| I give up
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| Let us take you back to where we came in
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| We were united, an undivided nation
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| We got divided, it was something inside us
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| And it was not us
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| We were so naive, we were just like animals
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| Told what to believe by the beasts who took control
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| We wanted control too, but that was normal
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| Cause our life was one of survival
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| The decisions we’ve made, if you can call it deciding
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| With your life on the line, it’d be social suicide to change your mind
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| So we got mad and we split the scene
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| Now we download all of our shit for free
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| It’s the new economy, we have nothing to offer and we sleep on trash
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| I give up
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| Let us take you back to where you came in
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| A man clinging to the cliff of revelation
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| So scared of what he would find, he started crying
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| «It was not me»
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| Stopped at the borderline they took his disguise
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| So he read a book that won a Pulitzer prize
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| It was about death
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| It didn’t help
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| He saw himself in it
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| And he was disturbed at the conclusions it led to
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| But he couldn’t say what because the author was dead too
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| And so though he made fun of us, he has now become one of us
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| I give up
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| I give up
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| I give up
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| I give up
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| I give up
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| And you wake up trembling
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| From a dream where I swam into the river
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| I reach out and hold you in my arms
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| I love you, I love you, I love you |