| Ahhhh…
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| The Lord is a monkey
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| Thanksgiving’s coming on the Fourth of July
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| In the form of a girl with a needle in her eye
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| Well she come from out west on a nickel worth of gas
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| Got her mind on her money and her dope up her ass
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| Outside of Phoenix she was kinda broke down
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| Burned a cracker-boy rig and she was out of that town
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| Ha Ha Ha!
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| Ahhhhh…
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| Well she was a Hare Krishna in the Ashram Bed
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| She was sellin' 'get sky' and had funky-ass hair
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| She pooed in my mouth and she threw me on the bed
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| Where she cut off my balls and she sewed them to my head
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| Well she’s heading back East in a 67 Caddy
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| Got her mind on her money and a dope for her daddy
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| Well I met her on the street where she beat me like a fool
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| Then she got me accepted to an ivy league school
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| Well I real did good but it’s kickin' my ass
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| I lost 38 pounds and my eye turned to glass
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| Well she’s looking pretty good first week in July
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| She’s got her dope up her ass and a needle in her eye
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| Ahhhhh…
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| Thanksgivings coming on the Fourth of July
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| In the form of a girl with a needle in her eye
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| Well she come from out west on a nickel worth of gas
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| Got her mind on her money and her dope up her ass |