Lyrics Chair Ass - Bumblefoot

Chair Ass

I’ve got a chair attached to my ass for 13 hours every day
Add two more after and before, just getting there and away
Like thrown meat landing on a seat — just vegetating in decay
I’m squattified — too settled in, and melting into pear-shaped dismay
Shapes and textures etched into my back on few occasions whence I stand
Impressions of a cushion pressed into a lazy man
The furniture acts like a cookie-cutter — reforming me like wooden hands on
flattened dough
Till I tear the glue of hair and sweat and go
The vinyl interlocked with dimples grips my body
Till I’m just a finished pile of human relic on a legged place-mat
I fall between the tensing cracks — I feel trapped on the tracks
I don’t need feet — I’m levitated by the seat — yeah, I’ve got chair ass
Yeah, no, something gone wrong
Here, gone, too late, I’m done
My blood pools in my thighs
I bloat and swell cold till I rise
Numb I stand, arms in clammy palms, rubber bones give at the knee
Ankles thick but empty, couldn’t hold the gelatin mold
Watch the cardhouse man fold
Yeah, no, something gone wrong
Here, gone, too late, I’m done
Yeah, no, gone, too late, I’m done
Yeah, no, gone, too late, I’m done