| I make a date for golf
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| And you can bet your life it rains
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| I try to throw a party
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| And the guy upstairs complains
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| I guess I’ll go through life
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| Just catching colds and missing trains
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| Everything happens to me
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| I never miss a thing
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| I’ve had the measles and the mumps
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| And every time I play an ace
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| My partner always trumps
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| I guess I’m just a fool
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| Who never looks before he jumps
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| Everything happens to me
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| At first I thought that you could break this jinx for me
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| That love would turn the trick to end despair
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| Now I just can’t fool this head that thinks for me
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| I’ve mortgaged all my castles in the air
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| I’ve telegraphed and phoned
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| And sent an airmail special too
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| Your answer was goodbye
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| And there was even postage due
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| I fell in love just once
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| It had to be with you
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| Everything happens to me
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| Everything happens to me |