| We interrupt this record
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| To bring you a special bulletin
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| The reports of a flying saucer
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| Hovering over the city
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| Have been confirmed
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| The flying saucers are real
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| (Too real when I feel
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| What my heart can’t conceal)
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| That was The Clatters
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| Recording, Too Real
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| We switch you now to our
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| On the spot reporter downtown
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| (Come on, baby
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| Let’s go downtown)
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| Take it away
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| John Cameron Cameron
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| This is John
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| Cameron Cameron downtown
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| Pardon me, madam
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| Would you tell our audience
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| What would you do if The saucer were to land
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| (Duck back in the alley)
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| Thank you and now
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| The thin gentleman there
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| (What I’m gonna do Is hard to tell)
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| And the gentleman
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| With the guitar
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| What would you do, sir
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| (Just take a walk
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| Down lonely street)
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| Thank you
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| We return you now…
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| This is Drak
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| Your outer space disc jockey
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| With a request for earth
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| (Earth angel, earth angel)
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| That was The Pelicans outer
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| Space recording, Earth
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| I’ve just been handed a bulletin
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| The flying saucer has just landed
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| We switch you again downtown
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| Here we are again
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| We have with us Professor |
| Sir Cedric Pentingmode
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| Of the British Institute
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| And the professor is approaching
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| The saucer to see if there’s
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| Possibly any sign of life aboard
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| Well, I’m sure something
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| Are you there
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| (I hear you knocking
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| But you can’t come in)
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| That was Laughing
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| Lewis' record, Knocking
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| This is John Cameron
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| Cameron on the spot
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| And now I believe we’re
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| About to hear the words of The first spaceman ever
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| To land on Earth
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| (Womp bop a loo bop
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| A lomp bam boom)
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| And now here are the ball scores
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| Four to three, six to two
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| And eight to one
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| The impact of seeing
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| The first spaceman has
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| This reporter reeling
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| (Here I go reeling
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| Uh-oh, uh-oh…)
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| That was The Clatters again
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| With their big one, Uh-Oh
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| This is John Cameron
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| Cameron again downtown
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| The spaceman has returned
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| To his ship and is taking off
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| We return you now to our studios
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| The flying saucer has gone
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| There is no threat of an invasion
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| However, the flying saucers
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| Are still around
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| (Still around)
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| We are not going
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| To interrupt this record
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| Yes, we are
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| The flying saucer
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| Has landed again |
| Washington, The Secretary
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| Of Defense has just said
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| (Ain't that a shame)
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| That was Skinny Dynamo’s
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| Record, That’s A Shame
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| This is John Cameron
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| Cameron, part two
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| Gathered around me are
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| Several of the spacemen
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| Tell us, have you come
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| To conquer the world
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| And now would you
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| Repeat that in English
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| (Don't want the world
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| To have and hold)
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| Hey, why don’t you go back
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| Where you came from
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| (Don't be angry
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| And drive me away)
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| We return you now
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| To our studios
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| Here is a news item
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| From Washington
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| The President has just
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| Issued a statement to the
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| Spacemen and we quote
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| (You can do anything
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| But lay off of my Blue suede shoes)
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| That was Pa Gherkins record, Shoes
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| We switch you again downtown
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| This is John Cameron
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| Cameron downtown
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| Professor Sir Cedric of The British Institute
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| Tell us how were
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| The saucers able to land
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| Well, you see…
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| (The motor cooled down
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| The heat went down)
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| That was Huckle Berry’s recording
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| The Moter Cooled Down
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| This is John Cameron
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| Cameron again
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| I believe the spaceman has
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| A final parting word
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| (See you later, alligator) |
| We return you now
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| To our studios
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| The spacemen have gone again
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| But look to the skies
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| The saucers will
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| Always be there
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| (Always be there)
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| Goodbye, earth people |