| I’m sure you’ve heard of our gal Julida |
| She has more boyfriends than Sal or Ida |
| Here is one fella who wants to tell ya |
| About Julida, Tony sing, please do |
| I met Julida one fine September |
| She said the words that make me surrender |
| Oh my Julida, Oh my Julida |
| I’m gonna marry you really I will do… YEA-- |
| Now that you’ve heard from one whose name is Tony |
| Let’s ask someone else who’s quite lonely |
| Come over here now Isadore, sing it sweetly |
| Come on now, Izzie, sing it just for me |
| My name is Isadore and I like bagels |
| I own a clothing store with lots of sable |
| She is Julida, she calls me honey |
| But she only loves me when I’ve got some money |
| (Julida's a bitch!) |
| Now that you’ve heard from Tony and Isadore |
| Let’s ask someone to tell us just a little more |
| Come on now, Percival, sing it sweetly |
| Come on now, Percy, sing it for me |
| I get so mad that honestly I could press a grape |
| To think that Julida has all those other mates |
| But I guess I’ll give her a knife, and a chicken heart |
| And maybe she’ll understand, I’ve got to be her hand |
| I want her hand |
| I want her hand |
| Hey… Julida |