| My heart is paralyzed
 | 
| My head was oversized
 | 
| I’ll take the high road like I should
 | 
| You said it’s meant to be
 | 
| That it’s not you, it’s me
 | 
| You’re leaving now for my own good
 | 
| That’s cool, but if my friends ask where you are I’m gonna say
 | 
| She went down in an airplane
 | 
| Fried getting suntan
 | 
| Fell in a cement mixer full of quicksand
 | 
| Help me, help me, I’m no good at goodbyes!
 | 
| She met a shark under water
 | 
| Fell and no one caught her
 | 
| I returned everything I ever bought her
 | 
| Help me, help me, I’m all out of lies
 | 
| And ways to say you died
 | 
| My pride still feels the sting
 | 
| You were my everything
 | 
| Some day I’ll find a love like yours (a love like yours)
 | 
| She’ll think I’m Superman
 | 
| Not super minivan
 | 
| How could you leave on Yom Kippur?
 | 
| That’s cool, but if my friends ask where you are I’m gonna say
 | 
| She was caught in a mudslide
 | 
| Eaten by a lion
 | 
| Got run over by a crappy purple Scion
 | 
| Help me, help me, I’m no good at goodbyes!
 | 
| She dried up in the desert
 | 
| Drown in a hot tub
 | 
| Danced to death at an east side night club
 | 
| Help me, help me, I’m all out of lies
 | 
| And ways to say you died
 | 
| I wanna live a thousand lives with you
 | 
| I wanna be the one you’re dying to
 | 
| Love… but you don’t want to
 | 
| That’s cool, but if my friends ask where you are I’m gonna say
 | 
| That’s cool, but if my friends ask where you are I’m gonna say
 | 
| She went down in an airplane
 | 
| Fried getting suntan
 | 
| Fell in a cement mixer full of quicksand
 | 
| Help me, help me, I’m no good at goodbyes!
 | 
| She met a shark under water
 | 
| Fell and no one caught her
 | 
| I returned everything I ever bought her
 | 
| Help me, help me, I’m all out of lies
 | 
| She was caught in a mudslide
 | 
| Eaten by a lion
 | 
| Got run over by a crappy purple Scion
 | 
| Help me, help me, I’m no good at goodbyes!
 | 
| She dried up in the desert
 | 
| Drown in a hot tub
 | 
| Danced to death at an east side side night club
 | 
| Help me, help me, I’m all out of lies
 | 
| And ways to say goodbye |