| I met an anarchist in Tompkins Square Park
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| He was an angry man, spinning words so dark
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| He called for death to rich men, death to Yuppies too
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| Death to art fags, bourgeois blacks, death to landlord Jews!
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| Kill the bankers, kill the cops, kill him her and he
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| Kill them all for CBS, NBC, ABC, TBN, CNN, HBO, Live At Five, MTV Spring Break
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| Party Weekend, Sally Jesse Raphael, Geraldo, Oprah, Arsenio, Regis and Kathy
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| Lee…
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| And I said
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| «Hey, I admire your get up and go
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| Your youthful brooding and sexually charged enthusiasm
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| And all your other utterly naïve and thoroughly endearing adolescent qualities
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| and I
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| Bet you can keep it up all night, can’t you?
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| But I bet you don’t even use a rubber, no you don’t even use a rubber…
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| Because
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| You think you can live forever
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| Or do you have this adorable and misguided notion that death is something
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| really radical and cool
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| But I still can help being wildly attracted to your fresh-faced uncompromised
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| tattooed rebel stance and, goddamn, I’d like to help you sing your tune." |
| But I’ve been making friends with this here death
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| And it seems a might too soon
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| And I said, «Hello death, goodbye Avenue A
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| I’m getting tired of waiting
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| Tired of being afraid
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| Joseph Campbell gave me hope and now I have been saved
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| So I sing, 'Hello death, goodbye Avenue A.'»
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| Now I’m not trying to be flippant here, or irreverent, or exploitive,
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| or sarcastic, or ironic, or post-modern, and this is not a parody
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| Get it? |
| Got it? |
| Good
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| I’ve been thinking what he told me, that it’s okay to cry
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| When we held the crystal Tina Chow spent twelve grand to buy;
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| Homeopathic mantras, fresh-squeezed wheat grass juice
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| Doctors up in Bellevue, Doctors Salk and Suess
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| And it’s time we’ll all be going home
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| If you can find the way
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| Yes, everyone is going home
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| Going home to stay
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| And it’s time we find a way to cope, a way to find
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| Some hope, for some it’s the Bible or Buddha or
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| Mohammed or Krishna or cheesecake or bourbon or the Butthole Surfers or Giorgio
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| Armani or Romeo Gigli
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| And you really can’t afford it but it looks so fabulous on you so why don’t you |
| take it on home, and speaking of home, isn’t it about time you move out of that
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| East Village hellhole, the one with the Honeymooners view of the brick wall out
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| the window because you deserve something more life affirming like a tree,
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| or a flower, or a patch of grass, or a singing little bluebird,
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| or maybe you just want to take your boyfriend to Europe because he’s never
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| been or quit the job you always hated or learn how to play the guitar (it's
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| easy) or get obscenely drunk in a piano bar and sing show tunes…
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| Show tunes!
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| …and don’t be embarrassed, because at this point I’d rather see «Brigadoon»
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| than «Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer», or maybe you’d like to get
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| politically active so you disrupt a Presidential press conference by shoving a
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| 5 pound week old stalk of broccoli between those thin lying lizard lips that no
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| one can read anyway because half the country is illiterate and the other half
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| is apathetic including the First Lady who couldn’t step just 500 feet out of
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| the overdecorated White House to visit the goddamn Quilt or maybe you’d like to |
| put a bullet into Jesse Helms' peabrain but you know when you start thinking
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| like that, when you start thinking like they do, then it’s time to let go of
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| the material world, so maybe you’d like to get yourself some religion cause
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| Jesus is the Way
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| Jesus is the Way
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| Jesus is the Way
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| Jesus is the Way
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| Jesus is the Way
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| Jesus is the Way
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| Besides, it’s a lot easier to accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and
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| Savior when He looks like Willem DaFoe
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| But maybe that stuff turns you off, so you rent «Power of Myth»;
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| it made me feel really good (for about ten minutes), or maybe you’d rather do
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| acid and listen to Led Zeppelin…
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| Then again, the last time I took hallucinogenic drugs was about five years ago;
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| I took mushrooms in Joshua Tree looking for that Carlos Castaneda kind of
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| experience. |
| I got off, my boyfriend didn’t; |
| he fell asleep, left me alone with
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| the TV, turned on PBS, you know what was on? |
| …"Berlin Alexanderplatz"
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| So I started watching it, and you know what??? |
| I got really bummed out
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| And that’s when I said |
| No to Drugs
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| No to Drugs
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| No no no no no to drugs
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| And maybe you’d like to say no to drugs too or maybe you want to join Atheists
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| of America or the Madonna Fan Club or watch Richard Gere follow the Dali Lama
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| around the world and then do those oh-so-Zen like movies with those oh-so-Zen
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| like messages like, «Hey! |
| It’s fun to be a prostitute!» |
| I can’t wait to spread
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| my legs across Hollywood Blvd. |
| Because then maybe some rich, handsome
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| billionaire in a Jag will come driving up and take me shopping on Rodeo Drive
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| and that’s what a woman’s all about anyway, right?
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| Sucking and shopping
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| Sucking and shopping
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| Sucking and shopping
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| Sucking and shopping
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| C’mon, it’s a singalong!
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| Sucking and shopping
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| Sucking and shopping…
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| Sucking and shopping…
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| Sucking and shopping…
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| But hey, who am I to argue because it’s the feel good movie of the summer,
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| it’s the feel good movie of the year, it’s the feel good movie of the Nineties,
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| it’s the feel good movie of the Millennium, and you know what? |
| If it puts a
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| smile on your face and a song in your heart and a spring in your step, well… |
| Whatever makes you happy
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| Whatever makes you happy
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| Whatever makes you happy
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| Whatever makes you happy
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| Whatever gives you hope
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| Even if it’s a truly tasteless joke
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| So…
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| Fax a manifesto
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| Pencil in a date
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| Let me know when something gives
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| I hope it’s not too late
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| Cause I’m getting tired of waiting
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| Tired of being afraid
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| Joseph Campbell gave me hope and now I have been saved
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| So I sing
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| Hello death, goodbye Avenue A
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| Hello death, goodbye Avenue A
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| Hello death, goodbye Avenue A
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| Hello death, goodbye Avenue A |