| Well I wake up this morning I rolled out of bed
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| I felt like a dog who’s been kicked in the head
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| Checked out my mail there was letter that read
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| Love for sale, love for sale
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| I picked up the phone I called everyone I could
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| I let my fingers do the walking through the telephone book
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| You can’t catch a fish if you ain’t got the hook
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| Love for sale, love for sale
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| Send up a signal throw me a line
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| Somebody explain «this funny Valentine»
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| It might not be legal but it sure ain’t a crime
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| I’m one step from crazy and two steps behind
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| I called Lt. Columbo from my TV set
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| I’ve tried the Dating Game I haven’t found her yet
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| I’m hoping that she’s looking like a Penthouse Pet
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| Love for sale, love for sale
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| We’ve been living together 3 years
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| 2 hours, 20 minutes maybe four hundred beers
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| You can’t shop for love when you’re shopping at, Sears
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| Love for sale, love for sale
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| I guess I’ve learnt my lesson it was easy to see
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| My old lady she played this joke on me
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| I never looked where I forgot it would be
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| Love for sale, love for sale |