| Who maddest one on the M1
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| Who hasn’t stopped sucking his thumb
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| Who very straight and never grins
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| Who cares what car he’s driving in
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| He is because he saw it on a commercial break
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| And if he doesn’t get what he wants then he gets a headache
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| Because he needs it, wants it, almost, loves it
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| He’s here on his own, on globe alone, here on his own
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| Who joined health club to glisten
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| Into hi-fi precision
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| Who mobile phone gives him the bone
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| Who very keen on Sharon Stone
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| He is because he saw it on a commercial break
|
| And if he doesn’t get what he wants then he gets a headache
|
| Because he needs it, wants it, almost, loves it
|
| He’s here on his own, all globe alone
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| Here on his own, all globe alo-lo-lo-lo-lone
|
| And then he says
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| Who eats at the new brasserie
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| Who only ever gets merry
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| Who wouldn’t be seen at bedtime
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| Without putting Calvin Kleins on
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| He is because he saw it on a commercial break
|
| And if he doesn’t get what he wants then gets a headache
|
| Because he needs it, wants it, almost, loves it
|
| He’s here on his own, all globe alone
|
| Here on his own, all globe alone
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| Here on his own |