| Three encores of Oh Sonny Boy backed only by accordion
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| Three rows of pale brunettes protect him from the crowd
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| And the curtain is a patchwork of imitation vermillion
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| And a red bulb hangs over the throne that has been found
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| This is the scene on Main Street when John Fifty comes to town
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| Yes, this is the scene on Main Street when John Fifty comes to town
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| Crowds of every age, creed and gender are abound
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| Signor kitsch sings skits detailing each attendees sins
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| The first time anteaters lose themselves in the wings
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| With vigour they scratch red spots, overwhelmed by their king
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| In all the world there’s no escape from this infernal din
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| In all the world there’s no escape from this infernal din
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| «Children of Bethlehem, come all boys and girls
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| Come Listen to these, my eternal words
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| Judge not who you see by whatever they may say
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| But by their round eyes, lips, ears and curves
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| A man is his country, your country is you
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| All bad is forewarned, all good will come true»
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| These words are heard on Main Street when John Fifty comes to town
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| (Yes, these are the words on Main Street when John Fifty comes to town)
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| The gargling non-song whips throng into frenzy
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| And the echoes of his crooning now cease to be heard
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| No-longer-pale brunettes are broken in two
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| And thrown to the snouts of the anteater crew
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| John Fifty is in tatters
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| His soapbox usurped
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| His torn robes adorn the
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| Tree stumps of the earth
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| No hack with an army
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| Will last long before he
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| Breeds men who yearn
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| For their own bloody glory
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| That was the scene on Main Street when John Fifty came to town
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| (Yes, that was the scene on Main Street when John Fifty came to town) |