| Hey we got a job on our way
|
| From Salt Lake City to San Francisco overnight
|
| It’s a long drive man
|
| Ain’t nothing to do
|
| We were bored on the way
|
| Me and Bill up in the front
|
| I said ‘Man is that a UFO'?
|
| He said ‘I think it is
|
| I think there’s two'
|
| I said ‘Man is that place Mustang Ranch on the way'?
|
| He said ‘Yeah, let’s call 'em up'
|
| Called the girl up on the phone
|
| She ‘hello'
|
| I said ‘How much would it be
|
| For me to come over and get my, my, my,
|
| My ham glazed'?
|
| She said
|
| wooooooooooooooo
|
| How fast does love come for
|
| You know its gonna have to come real cheap
|
| We pulled up there
|
| 'round 7 o’clock in the mornin'
|
| Big old fat dude come up
|
| Comin' around the car with a gun on his hip
|
| He said ‘Watcha all want'?
|
| ‘We just hop in the van to get our ham roasted'
|
| He said ‘I need to see some id'
|
| Showed him id and
|
| He got up in the van
|
| Dagwood sleeping back there like he always is
|
| Dude put his flashlight in his face
|
| Dagwood looks over and says ‘what's goin' on'?
|
| Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyy
|
| Gonna need some id boys
|
| You don’t come in here
|
| Messin' with my place
|
| Went in there
|
| And two good ol' bad girls come on
|
| Sitting on both sides of me
|
| They say ‘What's up baby'?
|
| I said ‘Now what’s going with yo'?
|
| ‘Whatchu want?
|
| I said ‘I want my ham to get glazed'
|
| She said ‘Well come here in the back
|
| And we’ll talk about it'
|
| ‘Say, you need a threesome'
|
| I say ‘I only need take one
|
| To get my ham glazed'
|
| She say ‘How much money you got'
|
| I say ‘I got about twenty dollars'
|
| She says
|
| noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
|
| You gonna need more than that boy
|
| I ain’t no bad free wild girl
|
| Gonna rock that Ranch to pay
|
| Gettin in the way you drink
|
| Now Bill got to find wandering eye
|
| She came out the back
|
| Lookin' fine and he was jealous
|
| She took him by the hand
|
| And he went back to the jungle room
|
| And his teeth were chattering
|
| And he was sweating bullets
|
| Cause he was so damn scared
|
| And she sat him down on the couch
|
| Put her hand on his leg
|
| And said ‘Whatchu wanna do with me'?
|
| He says ‘I want my ham to be glazed'
|
| She says ‘How much money you got'?
|
| He says ‘Twenty dollars'
|
| And she says
|
| Oooooooooooooooooooooooooo
|
| You gonna need more than that boy
|
| If you gettin' gonna get with me
|
| At the Mustang Ranch you pay
|
| Gettin in the way you be |