| Attention all sinners! |
| Alastor here!
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| And Charlie!
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| And we're pleased as punch to tell you about the new Hazbin Hotel!
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| Actually, it's the Happy
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| Wonderful! |
| Now listen up!
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| What would you do if I said there's a place for you?
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| A place completely free of shame and doubt (well, just about)
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| What would you do if you could start it all anew?
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| Well, come to our hotel and you'll find out
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| You will not want for anything, we'll take it all away
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| No, actually, we'll give you things 'cause stealing's not okay
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| Like beds of nails and swarms of bugs
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| Or cupcakes and a bunch of hugs
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| We'll make them pay
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| They'll want to stay
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| Don't scare them all away
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| We may not agree on everything as far as we can tell
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| But we both want this new venture to do well
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| So, with her passion
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| And his power
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| And this rinky-dink hotel
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| We might just bring some heaven to hell
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| It's clear to me that you're just looking for control
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| It's definitely getting out of hand (I agree)
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| So before we go and tell another tired, tortured soul
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| I think we need to come up with a plan (good idea!)
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| We'll ship them in and dress them up and make them look the part
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| Well, actually, we probably should help them change their heart
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| By teasing them and baiting them
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| Or rehabilitating them
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| Boil them, baste them, slice them up and serve them à la carte
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| That's horrible!
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| Don't be such a princess
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| Go to Hell!
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| Already there, darling!
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| We may not agree on everything as far as we can tell
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| But we both want this new venture to do well
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| So, with her passion
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| And his power
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| And this rinky-dink hotel
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| We might just bring some heaven to hell
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| One more time for the demons in the back!
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| With our passion, and our power and this rinky-dink hotel
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| We might just bring some heaven to hell
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| Want some hors d'oeuvres?
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| I'll pass
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| Yeah!
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| Thank you, thank you! |
| I'm here for all eternity!
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| Hahahahahahaahaaaaa |