| I left school and hit the high street
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| Had my youth in six weeks flat
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| Top shelf dust and Glastonbury
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| Learnt to be a secretary
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| If I can’t have it, nobody can
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| You follow the instructions, it’s all part of the plan
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| When you start as you mean to go on
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| Let’s get married, let’s have children
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| Split up when we’re twenty two
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| Cut our losses, screw our bosses
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| Get out while we’re still young
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| If I can’t have it, nobody can
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| You follow the instructions, it’s all part of the plan
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| When you start as you mean to go on
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| Paradise often falls apart
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| Home improvements for amusement
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| Smash this place to smithereens
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| Don’t forget to pay the premiums
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| Go abroad, don’t leave the gas on
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| If I can’t have it nobody can
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| You follow the instructions, it’s all part of the plan
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| When you start as you mean to go on
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| When you start as you mean to go on |