| Your old man, he’s in Homicide — NYPD
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| He looks at me suspiciously
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| Your momma she’s a psychiatric nurse in the city
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| Works in Bellevue and I look kinda familiar?
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| Still everything would have been all right
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| If I could have had you home by midnight
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| But it’s five in the mornin'
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| We slept through the alarm and
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| I could think of places I would rather be
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| Than sayin' «hi ya doin'» to your Old Man at 5:43
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| Then you take me in your arms and you drive me crazy
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| And I’d walk through walls for my Staten Island Baby
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| Didn’t your Momma warn you 'bout rock musicians
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| They’re not bad in bed but they’re hopeless in the kitchen
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| Didn’t your Daddy tell 'bout the facts of life
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| What feels so good may not be so nice
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| And everything would have been okay
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| If you hadn’t kissed me in that special way
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| But it’s five in the mornin'
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| My heart’s contortin'
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| And I could think of places I’d rather be
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| Than havin' a chat with your pistol packin' Daddy
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| Then you take me in your arms and you drive me crazy
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| And I’d give it all up for my Staten Island Baby
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| Would you think of marryin' a rock musician
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| You know what I’m good at and I’d get better in the kitchen
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| I could take the test for the NYPD
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| Have your family over for Thanksgiving on Avenue B
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| And everything would just be so fine
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| We could stay in bed all of the time
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| Way past five in the mornin'
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| To hell with alarms and
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| I know the worst thing I could see
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| Your Old Man in his pajamas and he’s pointin' his piece at me
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| Then you take me in your arms and you drive me crazy
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| And I’d join the NYPD
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| For my Staten Island Baby |