| Flatfoot Sam bought an automobile
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| No money down, it was a real good deal
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| Didn’t wanna work, just ride around town
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| Finance come, they put his feets on the ground
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| Oh, Flatfoot Sam, you’re always in a jam
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| Flatfoot Sam stole a ten dollar bill
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| He told the judge, he did it for a thrill
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| He got six days to spend in fine
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| He thanked the judge for being so kind
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| Oh, Flatfoot Sam, you’re always in a jam
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| Flatfoot Sam, he got him a job
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| The very same day the place got robbed
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| The cats got away, they couldn’t be found
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| They think its old Sam and they carried him down
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| Oh, Flatfoot Sam, you’re always in a jam
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| Flatfoot Sam playin' a chuck-a-luck game
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| The dice got switched, Sam got the blame
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| He pulled a gun, shot out the light
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| Everybody hollered, run for your life
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| Oh, Flatfoot Sam, you’re always in a jam
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| Flatfoot Sam went out on a spree
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| He met with a gal weighs six stone three
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| She spent all his money, sold all his land
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| The next thing she did, she got another man
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| Oh, Flatfoot Sam, you’re always in a jam
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| Flatfoot Sam, you’re always in a jam |