Lyrics Comic Relief - Bette Midler

Comic Relief

Oh God, Oh God, life is real life
Is when you wanna sing Polly-Wally-Doodle all the day
Well you know, I may well be a sequel to Jaws
In which a shark is attacked by a great white woman
Actually I’m not going to do the sequel to Jaws at all
I’m making the sequel to 'Emanuelle'
I call it 'Temple Emanuelle'.
Actually it’s not dirty at all
It’s just a lot of kissing and mezzuzas
And er, one singular sub-plot
In which a woman who has an un-natural relationship with a Kreplach
I know there must be one or two of you out there
Who haven’t got the vaguest idea what the hell is a Kreplach
And to both of you I say…
A Kreplach is a person from Kreplachia
Which is a very small fishing nation wedged between Estonia and Latvia
You don’t hear from them too much since the iron curtain fell!
But every now and again, one or two Kreplach’s manage to escape…
But NEVER to Cleveland!
YES!
Not True!
What?!
There we have one Kreplach
Who one Kreplach that managed to get to Cleveland!
In fact, I venture to say that was the Kreplach that ate Cleveland!
Are you sure?!
No, Belle Barth used to say:
'Shut your hole honey, mines making money!'
OH!
Ooh, she didn’t say that!
I never said that
I didn’t say that
I never said that!
Oh did you hear the news?!
You haven’t heard the news
I must tell you the news
I am the harbinger of news here
I slept with Jack kennedy
You wanna know what else?!
They slept with Jack Kennedy!
Talk about your «Bay of Pigs»!
Really
Oh, I’m sorry Girls
Oh my God
Oh God
Oh God
Alright
Oh God
Oh God
Oh God
Oh God
Alright
Alright
Alright!
Please forgive me everyone!
Please forgive me!
Just a little yolk
Fuck 'em if they can’t take a joke!