| This is my country, my damn country
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| Gimme my country, you can keep the rest
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| This is my country, my damn country
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| And it don’t mean a thing if it don’t pass the test
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| If you ain’t never cheated or been cheated on
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| Then take off your boots, you rhinestone fraud
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| Gimme cheating, drinking, and outlaw songs
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| Hard times, foolish pride, done me wrong
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| Flirting with the devil, get right with the man
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| Amen, pain songs, one night stands
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| You can keep your picket fence fantasies
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| And put a cork in your high school memories
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| This is my country, my damn country
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| Gimme my country, you can keep the rest
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| This is my country, my damn country
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| And it don’t mean a thing if it don’t pass the test
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| If you ain’t never spent a single night in jail
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| Then get another job and I’ll see you in hell
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| I’m drawn like a moth to the neon lights
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| I need a bucket of beer and someone to fight
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| Don’t call yourself country if your music is shitty
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| Or this Carolina boy’ll take you down to Fist City
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| You know who you are, I ain’t gonna name names
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| Just keep your hands off my country and go back from where ya came
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| My country, my damn country
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| Gimme my country, you can keep the rest
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| This is my country, my damn country
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| And it don’t mean a thing if it don’t pass the test
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| If you ain’t never done something you regret
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| Well, then I’m proud of ya, now git
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| Get this pussified, polished, pop song piece of
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| Glorified nursery rhyme outta my face
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| Wintertime, springtime, summertime, autumn
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| Show me to the jukebox and Yoakam if you got ‘em
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| I want country like Johnny, country like Merle
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| Country like Loretta, that honky tonk girl
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| Country like Townes, country like Travis
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| I’m a country-fried junkie with a bad habit
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| Country like Kris, country like Gretchen
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| If you ain’t cooking country then get out of the kitchen
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| I want country like Hank one, two, and three
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| Dropping like peaches from the family tree
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| Country like women, whiskey, and wheels
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| Yeah I know if it’s country cuz I know how it feels
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| Country like Waylon, country like Willie
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| Country like lightning in a hillbilly
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| This is my country, my damn country
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| Gimme my country, you can keep the rest
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| This is my country, my damn country
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| And it don’t mean a thing if it don’t pass the test
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| If you can’t sing along to Tear in my Beer
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| Then don’t forget your coat and get the fuck out here |