Lyrics Carousel - Ben Beal

Carousel

The rainclouds never fade
Again, again, again
And I been looking for a maze to the end
Why do we even try?
I’m a glass half-empty kind of guy
Still don’t know how to do shit for myself
Guess only time will tell, where on this carousel
I’m in my own world
But it’s the apocalypse
I try to stay grounded
But it’s too hard in this rocket ship
We was all good, now it’s all back
They tell me «move on», but I fall back
What you call that?
This more seasonal depression
Retrogade, why can’t I use my own message?
I was lost, I never received directions
Why is my life so perplexing?
Why is my mind always racing and I’m always stressing
I just need a little more time
'Cause I don’t think we’re good together
We were never good together
I think we should be forever
I think this could be forever
Be forever
But you just wouldn’t get it
Taking pills to make me feel anything
Chillin' in the hospital, they not letting my parents in
This shit’s embarrassing
19 with no future yet
Felt like a shadow, now I’m feeling like a silhouette
Mac understood me while my peers all over-looked me
I owe him everthing like I used to owe my bookie
I remember taking Xans, woke up and owed a couple grand
I hope that if I ever die, my people will understand
It’s a long time coming
Writing songs about nothing
Went outside and lived my life
Then fucked it up, like «Jesus Christ»
Sold her soul for grams of blow
And took a trip to firefly
Hit up Ben like «Let's be friends»
And turning his mind to Mikey nikes
Little did she know we’d get rich and fuck our friends
Playing headgames only works if Young Beal is getting head
So it never really hit me
Dreaming of needles, no tellies or measles
I need rehab, I OD’d on fifth dab
My life is like a good dab for allergy pills
If the drugs don’t kill him, then the salary will
I’m BB with the name, but BP with the spill
We like oil with the water, we don’t mix when we drill
We could leave right now, I don’t think people will see us
I been sad as fuck, I spark a Jay, then repaint the meter
It’s just not in the cars, like
Take the weed out the sneakers and roll
The walls are thin, I hope the neighbors don’t hear us
But they’ll probably hear us
Yeah, they’ll probably hear us