| Dear Catastrophe Waitress
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| Dear Catastrophe Waitress
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| I’m sorry if you seem to have the weight of the world over you
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| I cherish your smile
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| There’s a word of peace on your lips
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| Say it, and with tenderness I’ll cherish you
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| I’ll cherish you
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| Dear Catastrophe Girlfriend
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| Dear Catastrophe Girlfriend
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| I’m sorry if he hit you with a full can of Coke
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| It’s no joke
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| Your face is bleeding
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| You’ll soon be leaving this town to the clowns who worship
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| No one but themselves
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| No one but themselves
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| I hate feeling this way, oh
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| I hate feeling this way, oh
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| I know that you hate it, too, oh
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| Now that your coffee’s going cold, oh
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| All of the customers look so old, oh
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| Honey, if I could be so bold
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| Dear Catastrophe Waitress
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| Dear Catastrophe Waitress
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| I’m sorry if the kids hold you in cool disregard
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| I know it’s hard
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| Stick to what you know
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| You’ll blow them all to the wall
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| When they realise what you’ve been working for
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| What you’ve been working for
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| What you’ve been working for |