| We were sitting in the living room on the sofa, the wrong way round,
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| looking out the window.
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| It was quiet, and then in the car park across the road we saw Elvis — look,
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| there beside the postman’s van,
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| and he was walking round the postman’s van, looking in the open door.
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| He looked as if he was thinking about getting in, but then the postman came
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| back, and he swaggered off,
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| walked past the window and down the stairs, and then at the bottom of the
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| stairs right by the caretaker’s office,
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| he started licking the pavement.
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| Every night now since we moved in that new house there’s this noise outside the
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| door at just about half seven or eight o' clock every night.
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| And if we go and look outside the door, Elvis’ll be standing there waiting to
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| be let in.
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| And then he wanders into the living room, maybe sits down on one of the chairs
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| or even lies down on the floor.
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| He doesn’t say much, he just stays there for an hour or two, watching the TV.
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| We talk to him a bit, and then around ten o' clock, he’ll go away again,
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| and not come back until the next night.
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| There’s a lot of lanes and stuff around here, around the house — although it’s
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| right in the middle of the city
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| it seems quite like the country, it’s dead hidden — safe I suppose,
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| made for night living.
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| There’s a lot of squirrels and birds, and Stuart says he’s seen about nine
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| foxes there
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| when he’s jumped over the fence on his way to Prior’s Road.
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| Sometimes you can go out walking, and when you’ve been out for a wee while even
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| you don’t know where you are anymore,
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| so it would be pretty hard for anyone else to find you.
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| I suppose that’s why he spends so much time there, that’s why he’s come to live
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| there, or maybe it’s just the squirrels.
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| I read about somewhere that he likes squirrels quite a lot.
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| There’s these two videos that we got for wedding presents — called the e-files
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| e-files one and e-files two about how Elvis is supposed to be still alive.
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| And one time when he came round we were watching one of those, but he didn’t
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| say anything he just sat on the armchair.
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| He was playing with his collar a bit, and we watched it right through and then
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| when it finished
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| he just got up and walked off into the mist and didn’t say anything.
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| The first few times he came round I didn’t speak to him at all, I wasn’t really
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| sure what to say.
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| And Karen spoke to him quite a lot — she seemed to know what to do more than I
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| do.
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| He had quite a strange manner though, he’d go into your stuff and look through
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| it,
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| then he’d maybe pick something up and play with it for a wee while,
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| but he’d never make any comment about any of it.
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| Seemed pretty rude to me.
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| I just watched whatever Karen did, and listened to how she talked to him and
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| then,
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| after a while I started to copy that, and tell him a few things,
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| not really bothered about whether he responded or said anything back or not.
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| I think the first time I spoke to him we were sitting up on the mezzanine and I
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| said that I would tell him about me and wee Karen,
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| and how it was that we’d come to be living there.
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| I thought he probably liked the fact that we were living there because he came
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| round so much,
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| so I thought he might want to know how it was that it came about.
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| We did it all over backwards, I told him.
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| First of all we got to know each other, and then a while after that we met,
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| and when we’d known each other for about seven years we decided to have an
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| anniversary,
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| and that went quite well, so after the anniversary we had a honeymoon,
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| and that went well too,
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| so after that we decided that we would get married.
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| That’s why we’re living there now. |
| I used to think my dad was Elvis,
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| but I haven’t told him that yet.
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| I haven’t told my dad either… |