| Call on dolly
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| If your neighbour needs a new romance
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| Just name that kind of man your sister wants
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| And she’ll snatch them up Don’t forget to bring your maiden aunts and
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| She’ll match 'em up Call on Missus dolly
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| She’s the one the spinsters recomend
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| She even find a lovely bride
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| Call on dolly
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| I have always been a woman who arranges things
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| For the pleasure--and the profit--it derives
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| I have always been a woman who arranges things
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| Like furniture and daffodils and lives
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| If you want your sister courted, brother wed, or cheese imported
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| Just leave everything to me If you want your roof inspected, eyebrows tweezed, or bills collected
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| Just leave everything to me If you want your daughter dated, or some marriage consummated
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| For a rather modest fee
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| If you want a husband spotted, boyfriend traced, or chicken potted
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| I’ll arrange for making all arrangements
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| Just leave everything to me If you want your ego bolstered, muscles toned, or chair upholstered
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| Just leave everything to me Charming social introductions, expert mandolin instructions
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| Just leave everything to me If you want your culture rounded, french improved, or torso pounded
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| With a ten year guarantee
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| If you want a birth recorded, collies bred, or kittens ported
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| I’ll proceed to plan the whole procedure
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| Just leave everything to me If you want a law abolished, jury swayed, or toenails polished
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| Just leave everything to me If you want your liver tested, glasses made, cash invested
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| Just leave everything to me If you want your children coddled, corsets pulled, or furs remodeled
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| Or some nice, fresh fricassee
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| If you want your bustle shifted, wedding planned, or bosom lifted--
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| Don’t be ashamed girls
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| Life is full of secrets, and I keep 'em
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| I’ll discretely use my own discretion
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| I’ll arrange for making all arrangements
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| I’ll proceed to plan the whole procedure
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| Just leave everything to me |