| Here’s a story of an honest man losing religion,
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| Climbing the pulpit steps before an eager congregation,
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| The while praying came a wicked inspiration,
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| Brothers, sisters this is what he said:
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| Dearly beloved, dearly beloved, dearly beloved,
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| (Make no mistake, despite our traits, I’ve seldom seen evidence of genes)
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| I can’t relate to you, I can’t relate to you!
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| He was the kind of guy who’d always go right out of his way,
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| But more before that crazy notion leapt right into his head,
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| And stubbornly crept into every mad perception,
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| I can’t deny a funny feeling when he said:
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| Dearly beloved, dearly beloved, dearly beloved,
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| I can’t relate to you, I can’t relate to you!
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| Dearest in memoriam — set phasers to stun
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| And grab yourself a neighbors’skeleton to lean upon,
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| Did you know him in life — one filled with regret,
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| So soon we all forget — we ever met,
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| Do you know my name — sing a light refrain
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| For a man estranged — I won’t deny that I’m inclined to isolate
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| Dearly beloved, dearly beloved, dearly beloved,
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| I can’t relate to you, I can’t relate to you!
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| I can’t relate to you, I can’t relate to you, I can’t relate to you! |