| I was riding on the Mayflower when I thought I spied some land
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| I yelled for Captain Arab I have you understand
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| Who came running to the deck, said, «Boys, forget the whale
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| Look on over yonder, cut the engines, change the sail
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| Haul on the bowline,» we sang that melody
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| Like all tough sailors do when they are far away at sea
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| «I think I’ll call it America,» I said as we hit land
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| I took a deep breath, I fell down, I could not stand
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| Captain Arab, he started writing up some deeds
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| He said, «Let's set up a fort and start buying the place with beads»
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| Just then this cop comes down the street, crazy as a loon
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| He throws us all in jail for carrying harpoons
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| Ah, me, I busted out, don’t even ask me how
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| I went to get some help, I walked by a Guernsey cow
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| Who directed me down to the Bowery slums
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| Where people carried signs around saying, «Ban the bums»
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| I jumped right into line, saying, «I hope that I’m not late»
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| When I realized I hadn’t eaten for five days straight
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| Now, I didn’t mean to be nosy, but I went into a bank
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| To get some bail for Arab and all the boys back in the tank
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| They asked me for some collateral, and I pulled down my pants
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| They threw me in the alley when up comes this girl from France
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| Who invited me to her house. |
| I went, but she had a friend
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| Who knocked me out and robbed my boots and I was on the street again
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| Well, by this time I was fed up at trying to make a stab
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| At bringing back any help for my friends and Captain Arab
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| I decided to flip a coin, like either heads or tails
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| Would let me know if I should go back to ship or back to jail
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| So I hocked my sailor suit and I got a coin to flip
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| It came up tails, it rhymed with sails, so I made it back to ship
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| Well, I got back and took the parking ticket off the mast
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| I was ripping it to shreds when this Coast Guard boat went past
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| They asked me my name, and I said, «Captain Kidd»
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| They believed me, but they wanted to know what exactly that I did
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| I said for the Pope of Eruke I was employed
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| They let me go right away, they were very paranoid |