| Baby we’ve been together for a long, long time
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| You get home from work and then we just turn out the lights
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| Lately I’ve been dreaming you in leather, me in lace
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| Let’s put up the teddy bears, and get out the whips and chains
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| Give me weed instead of roses
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| Bring me whiskey instead of wine
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| Every puff, every shot, you’re looking better all the time
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| I don’t need a card from Hallmark
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| Box of candy, heaven knows
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| Give me weed instead of roses
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| Let’s see where it goes
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| Honey you don’t have to worry
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| There ain’t no one else for me
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| Lately we have fallen under the same routine
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| I ain’t getting any younger, oh but you don’t seem to care
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| Let’s trade in the boxers for some sexy underwear
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| Let’s send the kids to grandma
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| And call in sick to work
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| Put on some heavy metal
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| Rip the phone off of the hook
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| Go call your no good brother
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| We both know what he’s been growing
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| I’ll be waiting with the whipped cream
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| And baby let’s get going
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| You pull out the Polaroid
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| And I’ll strike a couple poses
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| Oh let’s get a little wild
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| Bring me weed instead of roses |