| There is a pub
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| In tumbridge wells
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| Where the landlord is
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| A wanker
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| Yes he has a girl
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| She don’t notice me
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| And I don’t understand what she sees in him
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| No I don’t understand what she sees in him
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| Cause hes a wanker
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| The landlord is a f*ckin wanker
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| The landlord is a f*ckin wanker
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| The landlord is a wanker
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| She looks good
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| But she don’t like me
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| She thinks I’m rather dirty
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| And ugly
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| She is nice
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| Oh whats she doing with him
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| If she was my girl
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| Id give her what for
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| I don’t understand
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| What she sees in him
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| Cause hes a wanker
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| The landlord is a f*ckin wanker
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| The landlord is a f*cking wanker
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| The landlord is a f*cking wanker
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| What a c*nt!
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| But hes a wanker
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| The landlord is a f*cking wanker
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| Hes also a f*cking c*nt! |