| Guiding her into dream time
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| Following lights in her eyes
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| This living behind’s got her frightened
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| So I’m here and I’m working all night
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| How is she not breaking down?
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| Oh God I feel her shaking
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| Try as I might to provide her light
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| In the end it’s she who’s breaking
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| I’m holding the choice as she grows life from it’s stem
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| Is it better to say not now when I’m trying learn: yes?
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| I’m dreaming of bouncing feet and your motherly smile
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| But when you’re sleeping so far away I can’t feel what’s inside
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| How am I still holding on?
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| Oh God I hope I am holding
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| She’ll try and describe what my strength provides but I fear my strength is
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| failing
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| If I could change my mind
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| I would change
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| What’s the change for the better
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| For a child who learns not to cry?
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| And to the boy who relies on his anger:
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| You’ll survive but you won’t feel exchange
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| And why all these doubts?
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| And what are all these doubts?
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| I see in her eyes that I’m holding her fine but all I’m hearing is doubts
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| Even as water’s crushing over my head
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| And the rhythm that I would slow is picking up it’s pace
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| I’m learning from older shames as I’m watching them die
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| And I’m still hoping to see her smile in the morning when we wake
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| Now that I am waking up
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| Oh God I hope I am waking
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| Though I’m overwhelmed at times I find that I’m less afraid of change
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| Change all the time
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| I’m still finding what’s sure
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| And not getting lost in my mind
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| I know I can try
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| Needing my own
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| But still
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| Getting lost in her eyes
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| And hoping it’s time
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| Wide eyed
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| I get wide eyed |