| Thirty-three years go by
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| And not once do you come home
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| To find a man sitting in your bedroom
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| That is
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| A man you don’t know
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| Who came a long way to deliver one very specific message:
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| Lock your back door, you idiot
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| However invincible you imagine yourself to be
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| You are wrong
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| Thirty-three years go by
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| And you loosen the momentum of teenage nightmares
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| Your breasts hang like a woman’s
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| And you don’t jump at shadows anymore
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| Instead you may simply pause to admire
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| Those that move with the grace of trees
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| Dancing past streetlights
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| And you walk through your house without turning on lamps
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| Sure of the angle from door to table
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| From table to staircase
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| Sure of the number of steps
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| Seven to the landing
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| Two to turn right
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| Then seven more
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| Sure you will stroll serenely on the moving walkway of memory
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| Across your bedroom
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| And collapse with a sigh onto your bed
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| Shoes falling
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| Thunk thunk
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| Onto the floor
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| And there will be no strange man
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| Suddenly all that time sitting there
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| Sitting there on what must be the prize chair
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| In your collection of uncomfortable chairs
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| With a wild look in his eyes
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| And hands that you cannot see
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| Holding what?
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| You do not know
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| So sure are you of the endless drumming rhythm of your isolation
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| That you are painfully slow to adjust
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| If only because
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| Yours is not that genre of story
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| Still and again, life cannot muster the stuff of movies
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| No bullets shattering glass
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| Instead fear sits patiently
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| Fear almost smiles when you finally see him
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| Though you have kept him waiting for thirty-three years
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| And now he has let himself in
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| And he has brought you fistfuls of teenage nightmares
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| Though you think you see, in your naivete
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| That he is empty handed
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| And this brings you great relief
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| At the time
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| New as you are, really, to the idea that
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| Even after you’ve long since gotten used to the parameters
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| They can all change
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| While you’re out one night having a drink with a friend
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| Some big hand may be turning a big dial
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| Switching channels on your dreams
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| Until you find yourself lost in them
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| And watching your daily life with the sound off
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| And of course having cautiously turned down the flame under your eyes
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| There are more shadows around everything
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| Your vision a dim flashlight that you have to shake all the way to the outhouse
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| Your solitude elevating itself like the spirit of the dead
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| Presiding over your supposed repose
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| Not really sleep at all
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| Just a sleeping position and a series of suspicious sounds
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| A clanking pipe
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| A creaking branch
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| The footfalls of a cat
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| All of this and maybe
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| The swish of the soft leather of your intruder’s coat
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| As you walk him step by step back to the door
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| Having talked him down off the ledge of a very bad idea
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| Soft leather, big feet, almond eyes
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| The kinds of details the police officer would ask for later
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| With his clipboard
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| And his pistol
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| In your hallway |