| Ten years back
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| Life was grim
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| Men were dull
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| Girls were prim
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| Fogs were thick
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| Food was bland
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| Sex was all
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| In the hand
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| Our idea
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| Of obscene:
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| Early night
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| Ovaltine
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| That’s all gone
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| As you see
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| We’re all rich
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| Love is free
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| You’ve never had it so good
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| You’ve never had it so often
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| Go and do what you never could
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| A brand new brother and sisterhood
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| You’ve never had it so good
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| By the way, did you see Joseph Kennedy had a massive stroke?
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| No!
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| He’s a great friend of my mother’s. |
| Used to come 'round all the time during the
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| war, they had quite a lot in common
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| Oh, yes? |
| What?
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| Both frightfully keen on Hitler
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| (Laughter)
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| Mariella had a dallience with the President, didn’t you, dear?
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| Yes, at the Hampshire House on Central Park. |
| Good-looking fellow
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| Really? |
| What was he like?
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| Bit preoccupied. |
| Still, he gave me a hundred dollars. |
| Worked out about
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| seventy-five dollars a minute
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| Do you like
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| S&M?
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| I don’t mind
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| One of them
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| Here, you can
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| Have it off
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| With some old
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| English toff
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| Who is that
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| In the mask?
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| They won’t say
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| So don’t ask
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| Could be some
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| Royal duke
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| Possibly
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| King Farouk
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| You’ve never had it so good
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| You’ve never had it so often
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| Chelsea’s buzzing like Hollywood
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| In Mayfair it’s well understood
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| You’ve never had it so good
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| (THE MAN IN THE MASK pauses in front of MARIELLA.)
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| I hope everything is to your satisfaction, mistress!
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| Why are you interrupting? |
| Did I ask you to stick your oar in?
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| No, mistress! |
| Sorry, mistress!
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| And where’s the white sugar?
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| I thought people preferred brown with their coffee!
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| You thought? |
| You thought?! |
| Who asked you to think?!
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| Nobody, mistress!
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| Go in the kitchen! |
| Bill will be in to chastise you in a minute, won’t you, Bill?
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| Whatever you say, Mariella
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| Oh, thank you, mistress!
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| You won’t thank me when Bill’s finished with you
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| (THE MAN IN THE MASK scurries off; and MARIELLA taps her cup with a spoon for
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| silence.)
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| I’m blowing the whistle for the kickoff! |
| Here we go! |
| It’s everybody’s lucky day!
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| (Whistle)
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| (A kind of courtly dance begins, as the orgy gets under way.)
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| (with some lines sung by parts of the group)
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| Pair off!
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| It’s time to pair off!
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| The whistle goes, and they’re off!
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| Now’s the time for you to show your mettle!
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| Last one with their clothes off boils the kettle
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| Spanking!
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| I’m all for spanking!
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| Which stranger am I thanking?
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| You’ll feel so good
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| Once you’ve got all your clothes off
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| You’ll find you are ready for anything!
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| I’m saying, one thing’s for sure
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| You are not going to doze off
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| It’s down on your knees
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| But no praying!
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| Stroke me!
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| Somebody stroke me!
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| Punish me, prod and poke me!
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| Smother me in strawberries and lick me!
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| Bring out your embroidery and prick me!
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| Use me!
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| Come on and use me!
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| Don’t hang about — abuse me!
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| Just wave goodbye
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| To those dull inhibitions
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| You just have to be ready for anything!
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| Get started!
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| It’s time to try
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| Those ambitious positions
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| The ones that scare off the faint-hearted
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| You’ve never had it so good
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| You’ve never had it so often
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| Go and do what you never could
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| A brand new brother and sisterhood
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| You’ve never had it so
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| Good!
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| You’ve never had it so good!
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| (Total abandon.) |
Song information On this page you can read the lyrics of the song You've Never Had It So Good , by - Andrew Lloyd Webber. Song from the album Unmasked: The Platinum Collection, in the genre Мюзиклы