| I invited all the kids doing walk-ons in «Samson and Delilah»
|
| Where have you been hiding? |
| I called your apartment. |
| I called your ex-agent.
|
| I was about to call the Bureau of Missing Persons
|
| Well, they always know where to find me
|
| You gotta say your New Year’s resolution out loud
|
| Jean!
|
| By this time next year
|
| I’ll have landed a juicy part
|
| Nineteen fifty will be my start
|
| No more carrying spears
|
| I’ll be discovered
|
| My life won’t ever be the same
|
| Billy Wilder will know my name
|
| And he’ll call all the time
|
| 'Til he does, can one of you guys lend her a dime?
|
| Just an apartment
|
| With no roaches and no dry rot
|
| Where the hot water comes out hot
|
| That’s my Hollywood dream
|
| Your resolution
|
| Is to write something that gets shot
|
| With approximately the plot
|
| I first had in my head
|
| But you’ll get rewritten even after you’re dead
|
| Artie!
|
| It’s the year to begin a new life
|
| Buy a place somewhere quiet, somewhere pretty
|
| When you have a young kid and a wife
|
| Then you need somewhere green, far from the city
|
| It’s a rambling old house with a big apple tree
|
| With a swing for the kid and a hammock for me
|
| Behold, my children
|
| It is I, Cecil B. DeMille
|
| Meeting me must be quite a thrill
|
| But there’s no need to kneel
|
| I guarantee you
|
| Every girl in my chorus line
|
| Is a genuine Philistine
|
| They don’t come off the shelf
|
| I flew every one in from Philistia myself
|
| I have some good news
|
| It’s «Blind Windows»
|
| You don’t let go
|
| I gave Sheldrake an outline, Joe
|
| And he swallowed the bait
|
| Well, hallelujah!
|
| While you’ve been buying vicuna coats
|
| I’ve been making a lot of notes
|
| Now there’s work we should do
|
| Betty, you’re forgetting that I gave it to you
|
| You remind me of me long ago
|
| Off the bus, full of ignorant ambition
|
| Thought I’d waltz into some studio
|
| And achieve overnight recognition
|
| I’ve seen too many optimists sinking like stones
|
| Felt them suck all the marrow clean out of my bones
|
| I love «Blind Windows»
|
| But I can’t write it on my own
|
| Can’t we speak on the telephone?
|
| All my evenings are free
|
| Hey, just a minute
|
| I’m the fellow who bought the ring
|
| Artie, this is a business thing
|
| It’s important to me
|
| You’ll be on location in Clinch, Tennessee
|
| Please make this your New Year’s resolution for me
|
| By this time next year
|
| I will get my foot in the door
|
| Next year I know I’m going to score
|
| An amazing success
|
| Cut to the moment
|
| When they open the envelope
|
| Pass the statuette to Bob Hope
|
| And it’s my name you hear
|
| We’ll be down on our knees
|
| Outside Grauman’s Chinese
|
| Palm prints there on the street
|
| Immortality’s neat
|
| This time next year
|
| This time next year
|
| We’ll have nothing to fear
|
| Contracts all signed
|
| Three-picture deal
|
| Yellow brick road career
|
| Hope we’re not still saying these things
|
| This time next year
|
| You know, I think I will be available in the New Year. |
| In fact, I’m available
|
| right now
|
| Joe, that’s great!
|
| Hey, Artie, where’s your phone?
|
| Under the bar
|
| Hey, Artie. |
| You think you could put me up for a couple of weeks?
|
| It just so happens we’ve got a vacancy on the couch
|
| I’ll take it
|
| Yes?
|
| Max, it’s Mr. Gillis. |
| I want you to do me a favor
|
| I’m sorry, Mr. Gillis. |
| I can’t talk right now
|
| Listen, I want you to take my old suitcases —
|
| I’m sorry, I am attending to Madame
|
| What do you mean?
|
| Madame found the razor in your room. |
| And she’s cut her wrists
|
| Three, two, one, Happy New Year!
|
| Should auld acquiantance be forgot
|
| And never brought to mind
|
| Should auld acquiantance be forgot
|
| And days of auld lang syne
|
| For auld lang syne, my dear
|
| For auld lang syne |