Lyrics By Jeeves - Andrew Lloyd Webber, By Jeeves 1996 Original London Cast

By Jeeves

Bertie:
It is patently clear
Any awkwardness here
Can be cleared up in less than a trice
Our identity switch
Who is who?
Which is which?
We’re in need of some solid advice
There’s a painfully simple solution
It’s as plain as the nose on your face
Bingo:
By Gad!
Gussie:
By Gosh!
Bingo:
By Heck!
Gussie:
By Gum!
Bingo:
By Rabbit’s Foot!
Gussie:
By Kingdom Come!
Bertie:
By all my sainted aunt believes!
Bingo:
By George!
Gussie:
By Jove
All: By Jeeves!
When we’re faced with the grind
Of exerting the mind
We’re filled with a deep sense of dread
Bertie:
«How on Earth», I hear cries
«Does one give exercise
To a thing that’s embedded in your head?»
Bingo:
What we need is a free-range consultant
Gussie:
Where on Earth do you find one of those?
Bertie:
By Hook!
By Crook!
Bingo:
By Way!
By Pass!
Gussie:
By Sea!
By Air!
Bertie:
By Road!
Bingo:
By Grass!
Gussie:
By Seven Dwarfs!
Bertie:
By Forty Thieves!
All:
By George!
By Jove!
By Jeeves!
Bertie:
By Shuttlecock!
Gussie:
By Croquet Hoop!
Bingo:
By Panama!
Bertie:
By Windsor Soup!
Gussie:
By all those cards tucked up his sleeve!
All:
By George!
By Jove!
By Jeeves!
Our collective I. Q
Of around Forty-Two
Cannot cope, to be terribly frank
All true leaders of men
Delegate now and then
Try to keep their minds totally blank
To appreciate loftier matters
Bingo:
Things that go over my head
Bertie:
By Derby Day!
Gussie:
By Nursery Tea!
Bingo:
By Moose!
Bertie:
By Spoons!
Gussie:
By Half-Past Three!
Bingo:
By every tender breast that heaves!
All: By George!
By Jove!
By Jeeves!
Bertie:
By Marmalade!
Gussie:
By Bowler Hat!
Bingo:
By Toothpaste tube!
Bertie:
By Burmese Cat!
Gussie:
By Baby Newts!
Bingo: By Autumn Leaves!
All: By George!
By Jove!
By Jeeves!
Behold how Jeeves, with sleight of hand
Conceives a scheme so carefully planned!
Even we can understand
If he takes it terribly slow-ly
Bertie:
By Basingstoke!
Bingo:
By Cardboard Box!
Gussie:
By Budge’s Knees!
Bertie:
By Bassett’s Socks!
Bingo:
By each that conjuror deceives!
All: By George!
By Jove!
By Jeeves!
Bertie:
By Jumping Jack!
Gussie:
By Easy Chair!
Bingo:
By Bain Marie!
Bertie:
By Camembert!
Gussie:
By every fruit bat in the eaves!
All: By George!
By Jove!
By Jeeves!
Bingo:
By Walking-Boot!
Gussie:
By Thermal Drawers!
Bertie:
By Canapes!
Bingo:
By Santa Claus!
Gussie:
By all his mighty brain achieves!
Bertie:
By every spell the master weaves!
All:
By Heck!
By George!
By Jove!
By Jeeves!
By Jeeves!
By Jeeves!
By Jeeves!
BY JEEVES!--