| Really comin' down
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| All wet man!
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| Step in some place — over here, c’mere
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| Open the door
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| All right, no way I’m goin' in there
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| I don’t care, just open it!
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| Oh, oh
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| Let’s go in, c’mon man
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| Okay okay okay
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| Whoa, look at this place, man! | 
| It’s cool!
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| Yeah, yeah, I could like to leave
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| Looks like a haunted house
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| Hey, the door!
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| Uh-oh
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| Welcome boys! | 
| Come right in
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| Please come in, you’re welcome here
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| Mind the cobwebs and the bones
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| May we invite you to spend the night?
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| Make yourself at home
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| Step this way, here’s the living room
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| Though «dead room» is actually, heh, more correct
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| 'Cause there hasn’t been a living soul here
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| Since Grandpa broke his neck
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| In our haunted house
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| We’ll treat you like one of us
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| But in our haunted house
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| That could be hazardous
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| Browse around the kitchen
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| Have a spoon, a fork, a knife
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| You must excuse those ketchup stains
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| We ate someone last night
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| Here is your big bedroom, dears
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| You’ll love the creaky bed
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| You’ll sleep just fine but when you wake
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| You still may feel half dead
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| In our haunted house
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| The butler is a ghost
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| The upstairs maid’s been buried for years
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| And the chauffeur’s comatose
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| In our haunted house
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| Our hospitality
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| Is something of which we’re very proud
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| Oh, do you take poison in your tea?
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| Don’t let the spiderwebs mess up your hair
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| Don’t mind the piano playing with no one there
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| The crumbling bookshelves covered with dust
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| One or two headless bodies, what’s all the fuss?
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| The dreadful pounding, the screams and moans
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| It’s just a typical night at home
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| In our haunted house
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| Things float through the walls
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| You might see sights that chill the soul
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| Be sure to wear a shawl
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| We’d love you to come in
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| Stay a while and play
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| Once you finally settle in
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| You’ll never go away
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| We’ll make sure of that!
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| In our haunted house
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| In our haunted house
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| In our haunted house
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| In our haunted house
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| In our haunted house
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| In our haunted house
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| In our haunted house
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| In our haunted house |