Lyrics He Vas My Boyfriend - Andrea Martin

He Vas My Boyfriend

Love comes when you least suspect it
Love dances in on a whim
I thought maybe I could direct it
But I never expected…
A guuy like him
He was a bully und a brute
He vas as crazy as a coot
Still I didn’t give a hoot
He vas my boyfriend!
With ev’ry voman he vould flirt
He alvays treated me like dirt
But I vas happy to be hurt
He vas my boyfriend!
I vas as pure as a virgin meadow
Lying with Vicotr in the gloam
Then he turned to me, that charmer, whispered, «Let's play farmer.»
And plowed me 'til the cows came home!
He vas a monster and a beast
His midnight bangings never ceased
It didn’t faze me in the least
He vas my boyfriend!
(spoken)
I’ll never forget the first time I met Victor.
It vas on the village green
At the annual bock beer festival, where every beer cost a bock
I vas an innocent young lamb and he was a dirty old goat
Ve vere made for each other
All of a sudden, he took out his paraphernalia and shouted
«Let's play croquet!», and off to the field ve vent
He carried his hoops and mallets and I carried his balls
What a festival!
Fun and games all day long.
Archery, badminton, potato sack
Victor won the three-legged race… all by himself.
It vas love at first sight
(sung)
He vas the one I gave my heart to
But ve never wed even so
If I mentioned wedlock
He’d put me in a headlock!
Vhen I asked to be his wife
He stabbed me with a kitchen knife
Ach, where did the good times go?
If he had an angry fit
I vas the first thing that he’d hit
But I didn’t give a shit…
He vas my boyfriend!