| Sid vicious played a four-string fender bass guitar and couldn’t sing
|
| And everybody hated him except the ones who loved him
|
| A ukulele has four strings, but Sid did not play ukulele
|
| He did smack and probably killed his girlfriend Nancy Spungen
|
| If only sid had had a ukulele, maybe he could have been happy
|
| Maybe he would not have suffered such a sad end
|
| He maybe would have not done all that heroin instead
|
| He maybe would’ve sat around just singing nice songs to his girlfriend
|
| So play your favorite cover song, especially if the words are wrong
|
| 'Cause even if your grades are bad, it doesn’t mean you’re failing
|
| Do your homework with a fork
|
| And eat your fruit loops in the dark
|
| And bring your etch-a-sketch to work
|
| And play your ukulele
|
| Ukulele small and forceful
|
| Brave and peaceful
|
| You can play the ukulele too it is painfully simple
|
| Play your ukulele badly, play your ukulele loudly
|
| Ukulele banish evil
|
| Ukulele save the people
|
| Ukulele gleaming golden on the top of every steeple
|
| Lizzie Borden took an axe, and gave her father thirty whacks
|
| Then gave her mother thirty-one, and left a tragic puzzle
|
| If only they had given her an instrument, those Puritans
|
| Had lost the plot completely
|
| See what happens when you muzzle
|
| A person’s creativity
|
| And do not let them sing and scream
|
| And nowadays it’s worse 'cause kids have automatic handguns
|
| It takes about an hour to teach someone to play the ukulele
|
| About same to teach someone to build a standard pipe bomb
|
| YOU DO THE MATH
|
| So play your favorite cover song
|
| Especially if the words are wrong
|
| 'Cause even if your grades are bad, it doesn’t mean you’re failing
|
| Do your homework with a fork
|
| And eat your fruit loops in the dark
|
| And bring your flask of jack to work
|
| And play your ukulele
|
| Ukulele, thing of wonder
|
| Ukulele, wand of thunder
|
| You can play the ukulele, too
|
| In London and down under
|
| Play Joan Jett, and play Jacques Brel
|
| And Eminem and Neutral Milk Hotel
|
| The children crush the hatred
|
| Play your ukulele naked
|
| And if anybody tries to steal your ukulele, let them take it
|
| Imagine there’s no music, imagine there are no songs
|
| Imagine that John Lennon wasn’t shot in front of his apartment
|
| Imagine if John Lennon had composed «imagine"on the ukulele
|
| Maybe folks would have more clearly got the message
|
| You may think my approach is simple-minded and naïve
|
| Like if you want to save the world then why not quit and feed the hungry
|
| But people for millennia have needed music to survive
|
| And that’s why I’ve promised John that I will not feel guilty
|
| So play your favorite Beatles' song
|
| And make the subway fall in love
|
| They’re only $ 19.95, that’s not a lot of money
|
| Play until the sun comes up
|
| And play until your fingers suffer
|
| Play LCD Soundsystem songs on your ukulele
|
| Quit the bitching on your blog
|
| And stop pretending art is hard
|
| Just limit yourself to three chords
|
| And do not practice daily
|
| You’ll minimize some stranger’s sadness
|
| With a piece of wood and plastic
|
| Holy fuck it’s so fantastic, playing ukulele
|
| Eat your homework with a fork
|
| And do your fruit loops in the dark
|
| Bring your etch-a-sketch to work
|
| Your flask of jack
|
| Your vibrator
|
| Your fear of heights
|
| Your Nikon lens
|
| Your mom and dad
|
| Your disco stick
|
| Your soundtrack from «Karate Kid»
|
| Your ginsu knives
|
| Your rosary
|
| Your new Rebecca Black CD
|
| Your favorite room
|
| Your bowie knife
|
| Your stuffed giraffe
|
| Your new glass eye
|
| Your sousaphone
|
| Your breakfast tea
|
| Your nick drake tapes
|
| Your Giving Tree
|
| Your ice cream truck
|
| Your missing wife
|
| Your will to live
|
| Your urge to cry
|
| Remember we’re all going to die
|
| So PLAY YOUR UKULELE |