| When I feel kinda like a giant useless slump
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| Ready to be taken to the rubbish dump
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| You call me up on your red telephone
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| Make me happy again and then you have to go
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| But I’ve been trying to think positively
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| About taking up new activities
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| I’ll do yoga and learn Chinese
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| Play accordion and eat my peas
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| But will you spend New Year’s Eve with me?
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| We can hide in my bedroom and watch cartoons all night
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| Everybody else will be out drinking
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| But I don’t feel like drinking
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| Do you wanna stay in and hang out with me
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| We could play some Monopoly
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| It’s embarrassing to think that at 25
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| I’m not doing something more wild with my life
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| There’s a party over here, a party there
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| But my favourite party is in my bed
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| So will you please spend New Year’s with me?
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| We can hide in my bedroom and watch cartoons all night
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| We can play Nintendo if you’d let me win
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| But you’re super competitive with these things
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| That’s okay, i don’t mind, let’s make popcorn
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| Do you feel like watching Harold and Maude
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| You’re the greatest the friend that i’ve ever had
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| I want you to know that i’m grateful for that
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| I won’t let our acquaintance ever be forgot
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| Happy New Year, I love you, you’re the best of the lot
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| So will you please spend New Year’s with me?
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| We can hide in my bedroom and watch cartoons all night |