| I wake up every morning, Six o’clock, I’m right on time
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| I eat a low fat breakfast, I tie a perfect tie
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| I kiss the wife, I hug the kids, I pat the dogs and cats
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| I never lose anything, my car keys or my hat
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| 'Cause I’m the man of the year
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| I’m the man of the year
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| I never cheat at finals, or miss a day at school
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| My urine tests are perfect, my prostate is a jewel
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| 'Cause I’m the man of the year
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| I’m the man of the year
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| 'Cause I’m the man of the year
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| I’m never, ever jealous
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| Never, ever cruel
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| I’m a graduate of Harvard
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| Where I never broke the rules
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| The queen made me a knight
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| The pope made me a saint
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| The president plays golf with me
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| I make Madonna faint
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| So why am I so lonely
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| Depressed and in despair
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| If I pull this trigger in my mouth will anybody care
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| It was the greatest funeral, I laid in perfect state
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| And later I will meet the lord, I bet he just can’t wait
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| To meet the man of the year
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| I’m the man of the year
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| Stand in line to meet the man
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| I’m the man, I’m the man, I’m the man |