| Johnny Jones was a first class private
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| In the army last year
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| Now he’s back to bus’ness in his father’s place
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| Sunday night I saw him with a smiling face
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| When I asked why he felt so happy
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| Johnny chuckled with glee
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| He winked his eye and made this reply:
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| «Something wonderful has happened to me»
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| I’ve got the guy who used to be my Captain working for me He wanted work so I made him a clerk in my father’s factory
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| And bye and bye I’m gonna have him wrapped in work up to his brow
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| I make him open the office ev’ry morning at eight
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| I come around about four hours late
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| Ev’rything comes to those who wait
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| I’ve got my Captain working for me now
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| He’s not worth what I have to pay him
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| But I’ll never complain
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| I’ve agreed to give him fifty dollars per
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| It’s worth twice as much to hear him call me «Sir»
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| While I sit in my cosy office
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| He’s outside working hard
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| Out in the hall at my beck and call
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| With a feather duster standing on guard
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| I’ve got the guy who used to be my Captain working for me He wanted work so I made him a clerk in my father’s factory
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| And bye and bye I’m gonna have him wrapped in work up to his brow
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| When I come into the office he gets up on his feet
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| Stands at attention and gives me his seat
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| Who was it said «revenge is sweet»
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| I’ve got my Captain working for me now
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| I’ve got the guy who used to be my Captain working for me I gave him work where there’s no chance to shirk
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| He’s as busy as a bee
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| And bye and bye I’m gonna have him wrapped in work up to his brow
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| I had a small kitchen built in my Dad’s factory
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| Now I have the Captain there doing K.P.
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| God has been awfully good to me
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| I’ve got my Captain working for me now
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| He stood at attention, called me «Sir»
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| He said, «I can’t get along on twenty-five per»
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| I gave him a look and said «as you were» |