| Dear boy, you will not hear me speak
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| With sorrow or with rancor
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| Of what has paled my rosy cheek
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| And blasted it with canker
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| 'Twas love, great love that did the deed
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| Through Nature’s gentle laws
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| And how should ill effects proceed
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| From so divine a cause?
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| Dear boy
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| Sweet honey comes from bees that sting
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| As you are well aware
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| To one adept in reasoning
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| Whatever pains disease may bring
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| Are but the tangy seasoning
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| Of love’s delicious fare
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| Columbus and his men, they say
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| Conveyed the virus hither
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| Whereby my features rot away
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| And vital powers wither
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| Yet they had they not traversed the seas
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| And come infected back
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| Why, think of all the luxuries
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| That modern life would lack!
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| Dear boy
|
| All bitter things conduce to sweet
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| As this example shows
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| Without the little spirochete
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| We’d have no chocolate to eat
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| Nor would tobacco’s fragrance greet
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| The European nose
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| Each nation guards its native land
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| With cannon and with sentry
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| Inspectors look for contraband
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| At every point of entry
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| Yet nothing can prevent the spread
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| Of love’s divine disease
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| It rounds the world from bed to bed
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| As pretty as you please
|
| Dear boy
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| Men worship Venus everywhere
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| As can be plainly seen
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| The decorations which I bear
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| Are nobler than the Croix de Guerre
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| And gained in service of our fair
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| And universal queen |