| A fine romance, with no kisses |
| A fine romance, my friend this is We should be like a couple of hot tomatoes |
| But you’re as cold as yesterday’s mashed potatoes |
| A fine romance, you won’t nestle |
| A fine romance, you won’t wrestle |
| I might as well play bridge |
| With my old maid aunt |
| I haven’t got a chance |
| This is a fine romance |
| A fine romance, my good fellow |
| You take romance, I’ll take jello |
| You’re calmer than the seals |
| In the Arctic Ocean |
| At least they flap their fins |
| To express emotion |
| A fine romance with no quarrels |
| With no insults and all morals |
| I’ve never mussed the crease |
| In your blue serge pants |
| I never get the chance |
| This is a fine romance |