| I used to be a sinner, used to have my cake and eat it
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| They warned me of my fate, but I was quite prepared to meet it
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| You’ll go to Hell they smiled at me
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| And told me of the roaring fires
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| But I was happy living wild
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| And fueling my own desires
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| I was a wild man
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| Drinking, smoking and messing around with women
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| Lots of women
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| No, not swimming, women
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| I wanna go to Heaven
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| The place to be is right up there
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| I wanna go to Heaven
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| It’s gonna be good so I won’t despair
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| I decided to reform and pray
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| Beg mercy for my soul
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| I prayed in church
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| Threw away my bad habits
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| Prayed out of church
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| Adopted an entirely different role
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| I gave my money to the poor until I was poor
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| But at least I ensured that I would go up there
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| Instead of down below to the Inferno
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| Where the evil flames of desire
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| Burned higher and higher and higher
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| I’m gonna go to Heaven
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| Paid my dues so I’m getting in
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| I’m gonna go to Heaven
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| It’s looking good if I abstain from sin
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| I knocked on the pearly gates
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| Neatly side-stepping the long queue
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| Waved hi to St. Peter
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| Who checked my card and let me through
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| I smiled, threw my hands in the air
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| Laughed and got arrested
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| They said hey man, you’re in the wrong place
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| Your behaviour is a disgrace
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| Here we pray every hour, on the hour
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| Read extracts from the Bible and look solemn'
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| What, says I, no party?
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| No party?
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| Let me out
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| Let me out of Heaven
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| I got it wrong, no I can’t stay here
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| No laughing in Heaven
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| Let me out, I just can’t stay here
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| Well I ran around in the state of shock and panic
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| This wan’t what I expected
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| Here was what looked like a bunch of manic depressives
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| Can I get a transfer, I screamed
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| But no, once you’re in Heaven, you’re here for good
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| The good of your soul, but that’s no good for me
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| If you want to go to Hell you’ve really got to be bad
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| Okay, okay, I’ll be bad
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| Too late
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| What do you mean too late
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| Too late
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| No
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| In the meantime
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| Let me out of Heaven
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| I’ve got it wrong, no I can’t stay here
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| No laughing in Heaven
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| Oh God, it’s awful here
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| Going crazy in Heaven
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| Take me out and let me go to hell
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| No laughing in Heaven
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| Don’t laugh, this place is Hell |